Wedding Woes, RSVP nightmare... aggggh!!! Three Ring Wedding Circus?

[Skatin']

The previous answerers are right - you MUST call them on the phone and get your count. But you can divide up the work. Have your fiance do some, your bridesmaids, your mom - divide up the work and get on the phone.

Just stick to your guns on who is invited and don't allow extras - explain the situation and that there's no room for tagalongs.

Good luck, you can get through this!

[D4Pres2012]

unforunately, you're going to have to make 52 awkward phone calls. for the people who added extra guests when they replied, which is the most tacky and gauche thing second only to asking for cash instead of gifts, you have to tell them there isn't enough room at the inn (or wherever you're having the reception) and that's why you only invited the people the invite was addressed to, duh. people are so stupid. then call everyone else who hasn't rsvp'd and make them feel a little bad for not working with your time frame.

[SmartyPants]

call the people who have not responded and ask if they are coming. be calm and nice and act like it is no big deal.

if many people are not coming it might be actually nice to have the extra guests there. im just saying

apologize to the uncle, tell him his invite is on the way, and may you add him to the guest list of those who are coming?

dont stress, it happens all the time, even with big fancy society shindigs, the people in charge just reach out and ask if people are coming, and, sometimes extra guests do come in handy if other people are just not going to come.

caters know fully well what you are going thru. ask them their policy about this, headcounts and all. yes you need an exact number but even an exact number may mean some show or dont on the day of. caterers know how to handle this.

remember, an extra guest or 10 or 15 when balanced against the 50plus years you are going to be married is nothing, nothinng, nothing at all to be worried about. even if it is a lot of money to pay for, dont stress it, it is a nickel and a dime after the party is over. if you can at all honor the request for the extra guests, be kind and do it. how lucky you are everyone wants to come. it will all be just wonderful. dont worry. you are doing fine.

[cher]

join the club you are not alone,
but you seem to have many more
deadbeats than normal
you will have to recruit help
and start making phone calls
what a pain in the you know what!

[Tricie68]

As with the other's you need to call your guests and get a firm head count. I see this all of the time, unfortunately, and honestly I think it's a cultural thing (that's just how some of us do sometimes).

Get on the phone with everyone who was officially invited and then as the negatives come in, ask those not previously invited that your fiancee's Mom has. And let those know who are adding guests, that you cannot accommodate them.

Despite what Trueeee has said, the caterer will not do a head count during the reception and give you a refund on food not served. The food was still purchased by the caterer and they need to cover their costs.

[Jenny]

Sounds like you are going to spend the next couple of days making a lot of phone calls. My guess is that you did not address your invitations correctly, or you would not have the extra people invited.

Most people do away from the inner envelope and then address to Person and Family, which just means they can invite as much family as they want. The inner envelope is to indicate exactly who is invited to the wedding in the family.

If you want to avoid the calls, just estimate how many people are associated with the 52 invitations and give that count to the caterer. You may be paying for more food (which you could ask if the caterer will donate extras to shelters or possibly will box up the leftovers to freeze.

[Jenny C]

You could call all of the guests and get their RSVP. (if you have access to their phone numbers.) Simply explain that you had a problem with wrong addresses and you are giving everyone a quick call to see if they are coming.

Hope it helps!